There is a saying, “This too shall pass.” Long after the dust settles, when the pandemic has become a distant memory, our future generations will look back at COVID-19 as one of the increasingly frequent pandemics that struck humanity, not unlike the way we look at the Black Death and the Spanish flu. The fact that this crisis will ultimately blow over, brings little comfort to the millions of families who have lost their loved ones and the many more, whose livelihoods have been destroyed. How can we navigate through the current crisis without losing our hope and sanity?
Let me share a Buddhist parable, ‘the story of the second arrow’. If a person is struck by an arrow, he will naturally experience immense pain; but if he is struck by the second arrow, the pain will escalate into intense suffering.
The first arrow refers to the trials and tribulations in life, such as the current pandemic, which can inflict great pain on its victims. The second arrow strikes when our mind reacts to the virus with denial, bitterness and repulsion. This turns the pain into suffering. The first arrow might be unavoidable but the second arrow is self-inflicted by the mind. So, beware of the second arrow.
The failure to reconcile with life’s situations inhibits the healing process and obscures our wisdom; it prolongs the pain and perpetuates suffering, preventing us from bouncing back after a setback. The ability to focus on the issue at hand (first arrow) without getting distracted by our emotions, our latent negativities within our mind, (second arrow) is a key survival skill. Unfortunately, the ability to stay focused is not a natural strength of the mind. In fact, it has the natural tendency to wonder aimlessly and develop negativity bias. Have we noticed our thoughts and emotions that were triggered when we encountered a challenging or unpleasant situation? Do we feel anxious, frustrated, helpless, exhausted and overwhelmed? Or do we feel grateful, hopeful, peaceful, curious or motivated? If you realise that negative narratives often dominate your mind, you are not alone. Such latent negativity bias clutters the mind; it distorts our view and fires the second arrow.
Develop our Awareness
Resilience begins with the awareness of our thoughts and emotions. William James, often known as the Father of American psychology, once said, “My experience is what I agree to attend to. Only those items which I notice shape my mind.” These items are not only external events, but also our mental and emotional reflexes that are triggered by external stimuli. An example of this is our fight and flight reactions that are triggered when we encounters a perceived threat. Such physiological reactions had helped our ancestors survive life-threatening situations in prehistoric times. As we navigate through a volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous world, ability to respond creatively and effectively becomes critical. Hence, it will be crucial to catch the conditioned reactions within us when and where they arise. Unless our life is at stake, it would often be worthwhile to pause and disengage ourselves from our emotional triggers, before we rush to react.
Find the Pause Button
Stephen R. Covey, the renowned author of ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ reminded us, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.” When we empower our conditioned mind to dictate our reactions, we cede our power to choose our response. A pause de-energizes the latent negativity whenever it is triggered, and gives us an opportunity to exercise our wisdom and respond creatively.
Practise Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a way to declutter our mind; it enables us to see clearly and respond wisely. Mindful practices can be very accessible, starting with conscious breathing. Focus on our breath as we inhale, pause and exhale. Notice the sensation as we breathe in and out. Notice how the sensation arises and subsides. Notice the constant, aware presence which underpins all sensations, thoughts and experiences. All experiences come and go, but the awareness never leaves. It is always there. Be rooted in the awareness with which we are aware of all our experiences and we will be able to see the world in a different light.
Discover the Deeper Meaning of Life
Viktor Frankl was an Austrian Jew, psychiatrist, philosopher and Holocaust survivor. He shared his experiences in Nazi concentrations camps in his book ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’, and described the force which kept him alive, while the will to live faltered among fellow prisoners. He said, “It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us….Life holds a potential meaning under any conditions, even the most miserable ones.” This pandemic has revealed humanity its finest quality. Thousands of frontline workers show up to work every day, knowingly putting their own lives in danger, in order to keep others alive and society, functioning. Life has its unique way of awakening us to our calling.
Connect with Empathy and Compassion
Jesus taught his disciples to “Love your neighbour as yourself.” This seemingly impossible task happens naturally, only when one gets in touch with his deepest self, the true self that transcends the ego, and sees the same presence in every human being. Love is the absence of separation when one feels the oneness with the Divine and recognises the same divinity within each human being.
This pandemic offers a great opportunity for such transcendental experiences. The virus strips away the superficial identities, which separates one human being from the other. Regardless of our nationality, culture, social status and beliefs, we share the same vulnerability of being infected by this virus. Perhaps, this is Mother Nature’s way of reminding us, that there is only one human race.
We might be in the same fight and weathering the same storm. However, we are experiencing the storm very differently because we are in different boats. Everyone is impacted to different extents financially, physically, emotionally and mentally. Connect with one another empathetically. A little compassion goes a long way to uplifting our spirit.
This story of the arrow reminds us that challenges and pain are unavoidable in life. Some will be consumed by grievance and suffering, when they inflict the second arrow upon themselves. Those who have the wisdom to embrace the challenging situation with equanimity and wisdom will deflect the second arrow and emerge stronger. Which path will you choose?
